


Like I Was Dying

by Reis_Asher



Series: (Not) Just A Machine [6]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Crying, Fucked Up Hank Anderson, M/M, Public Enemy Chapter (Detroit: Become Human), Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Suicidal Thoughts, dub-con, non consensual wireplay, non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 20:49:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16354067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reis_Asher/pseuds/Reis_Asher
Summary: Hank walks in on Gavin Reed fucking Connor in a savage and brutal scene and realizes there are limits to what he can stomach.Driven to the edge by his guilt at enabling Gavin to hurt Connor, Hank considers killing himself, but Connor won't let him rest when there's a deviant investigation to finish...





	Like I Was Dying

**Author's Note:**

> The bathroom scene in this... guh. Not an easy thing to write, and probably not easy to read, either. Fair warning, please read the tags first. I hope you've read the other parts - if not, I STRONGLY suggest not diving into this part first.
> 
> This isn't a happy fic. Please don't read it if it will upset you. I have 70+ fics for you to read if you need something less extreme.

Hank rolled into the office, glad about the fact that he'd avoided the bullshit Monday morning meeting with Fowler and literally nothing else. His head pounded from a hangover and he vaguely remembered the fact he'd plowed Connor over the hood of his car last night and loved every second of it. Now, however, guilt sat beside his hangover, every painful pulse in his head eliciting pangs of remorse and regret from the broken fragments of his soul. He'd promised he was going to stop fucking Connor, but he'd crumbled again, giving into his wants and trying to paint over the shame with weak excuses after the fact.

He had no intention of stopping. It was a hard truth to swallow, but it was there all the same. The guilt simply wasn't enough to hold him back—if anything, the sensation of remorse only intensified his want. Fucking Connor was self-pleasure and self-punishment all in one, the perfect poison for a man done with life. 

He took his coat off and tossed it over his chair. He glanced around the bullpen, wondering where Connor might be at this hour. Most of the desks sat empty, but that didn't mean much. The rest of the officers could easily be out on a case.

Hank found himself wandering to the bathroom anyway, just in case. He wasn't sure what he hoped he'd find, but his dick hardened slightly just thinking about the potential scenarios he might walk in on. Connor looked gorgeous being pumped full of cum, and even Hank's hangover couldn't stifle his lust.

He opened the bathroom door with one large hand. Encouraging noises from the end stall reached his ears and he strode across the room, his body moving of its own accord towards Connor's whimpers and Gavin's grunts. The stall door was unlocked and he pulled it open to drink in a sight that was as erotic as it was horrifying.

Connor knelt on all fours, Gavin plowing into him, dripping thirium from a hole in his chest onto the tiled floor. He was crying, tears rolling down his cheek and pooling on his chin as Gavin fucked him. Gavin held a cylindrical object in his hand. He tossed it to Hank, who fumbled as he caught it.

"What the fuck is this?" Hank asked, holding up the object to the light until he caught a glimpse of the serial number etched into its surface. "Gavin, what the hell are you doin'?" He was alarmed to see Connor in such visible distress. The android had always been so enthusiastic during their encounters that it had at least helped him maintain the illusion of consent, but Connor was clearly not enjoying this, and he suspected it had something to do with the part that was now clutched in his hand.

"Either shut the fuck up and join in, or go the fuck away!" Gavin snapped. "You're ruinin' my good time."

"Not until you tell me what this does."

"Why do you care?" Gavin asked. He fucked into Connor harder and faster, obviously close to orgasm.

Connor turned his head to look right at Hank. "Haaank," he said, drawing out the syllable into a plea. "I… I need help…"

"Shut the hell up, you fuckin' plastic!" Gavin grabbed a handful of Connor's hair and pulled back on it until it bent his neck. Gavin let out a strangled gasp as he came inside Connor, his whole body shuddering with the force of his release. He pulled out and shoved Connor down to the ground. He pulled his pants up, buckling his belt before pushing his way past Hank and out the door.

"Connor, fuck!" Hank knelt down beside him and rolled him over. The port in his gut was wide open and roughly the size of the part he still clutched in his right hand. He pressed it back into the hole, hoping he wasn't causing more harm than good. Connor's hands reached up and turned the component, and it settled into place with a slight hiss. Connor's LED turned from red to yellow to blue, and Hank sensed the crisis was over. He reached down and thumbed a tear from Connor's cheek, rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger to dispense of the liquid. A sigh escaped his lips.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Connor said. "That component was my thirium pump regulator. Without it, I would have permanently shut down in fifteen more seconds."

Anger flared in Hank's veins. Who was Gavin to do something like this to Connor? To put him on a knife's edge in order to indulge in some twisted, fucked up edgeplay? Would he have fucked Connor to death to get off like some android snuff fetishist?

The pure, overwhelming urge to hurt Gavin Reed consumed him. He thought about leaving Connor and marching after Gavin to fuck him up, but Connor looked so vulnerable in his arms, so beautiful—naked, covered in his own blood, tears still twinkling in his eyes.

_"I would certainly find it regrettable to be… interrupted… before I can finish this investigation."_

Brown eyes, pleading with him to live as he held his gun to the android's head in the park. He couldn't say the urge to pull the trigger hadn't crossed his mind. He hadn't been able to do it, and he hadn't gotten off on Connor's fear, but being the white knight who knocked out Gavin to protect Connor would just make him a bigger hypocrite than he already was.

"Let me help you clean up," Hank soothed, pulling out bundles of toilet paper from the dispenser and balling it up. He dabbed at the blue blood, wiping it away until he was no longer able to tell Connor's internals had been ripped out so Gavin could cum a little harder. He tried to still the tremor in his hands, but he knew it had to be obvious to Connor that he was shaking. He tossed the blue paper into the toilet and flushed, glad to see the thirium gone.

He turned to find Connor was already on his feet, and it was impossible to tell that he'd just been on the brink of death. "Can I assist you, Lieutenant?" He took Hank's hand almost tenderly, and Hank tore it away like he'd been burnt. The thought of Connor comforting him—or worse, trying to seduce him—after what he'd just witnessed left him feeling sick to his stomach. He could have stopped Gavin, but instead he'd let the sick fuck finish.

Fifteen seconds and Connor would have been killed. CyberLife could send a replacement all they wanted, but it wouldn't be the same Connor, would it? Wouldn't be the same soft boy who'd smiled at him and taken his dick with such enthusiasm. 

If Connor was alive, there wasn't much of a line between his own actions and what Gavin had done, but it was still different in his mind. He'd never gotten off on hurting Connor, no matter how insufferable he could be at times. He'd liked watching Connor get fucked because of how he seemed to love it.

But that might all be an illusion, to be wiped away if Connor ever turned deviant. If Connor had been crying inside the whole time the way he'd cried with Gavin just now… He stopped the thought dead in its tracks, terror clamping down on his gut. No, he had to consider the flip side… if Connor's reactions were programmed, why hadn't he pretended to enjoy Gavin's fuck? Hope flared in his veins only to be shot down immediately.

The mission. Of course. His continued survival was all about the damn mission. His reactions were all about whether it served the investigation—and CyberLife probably didn't want to spend the money to replace Connor. He'd been programmed to preserve his body unless his objective demanded a sacrifice—and Gavin Reed's pleasure was not vital to the mission's success.

Hank was aware he was standing in front of Connor, locked inside a silence neither one of them could seem to break. He wanted to say something comforting, but he had no words. In his day, DPD officers hadn't resorted to violence in order to get their rocks off. Hank's mouth or ass had been enough to satisfy them. They hadn't reached inside his chest and tore out the equivalent of a pacemaker so they could fuck him while he lay dying.

And Hank had let it happen. Let the scene unfold before his eyes as he held that precious piece of Connor in his hand and watched the lifeblood drip out of him. None of this could have occurred if he hadn't given his standing permission for anyone to fuck Connor whenever and however they wished. The power had been in his hands and he'd let Connor get hurt like this because his own libido had mattered more.

Or maybe he just wanted to destroy himself that much, push himself to the point of no return so that next time he sat at his kitchen table with his gun, he'd have the balls to load all the chambers instead of just one.

"Hank, I—" Hearing his name on Connor's lips sent chills down Hank's spine as he moved closer. Connor raised his hand to touch his cheek and Hank cut him off at the pass, pushing him gently backwards with one hand, needing to put distance between him and the android. He had to clear his head, had to think. Had to get away from this inhuman—yet so very human—thing that could cry as Gavin fucked him halfway to death and throw himself at Hank right after the fact like nothing had happened.

Hank couldn't fuck him now. He was sure he couldn't get an erection if he wanted to. The thought of Gavin's sloppy seconds in Connor's ass only filled him with dread now, as if a spell had been broken and he saw the ugly truth of the monster he'd unleashed now the glamor had worn off. He strode to the stall door and kept walking, out of the bathroom and on through the office. Gavin sat at his desk brooding but Hank couldn't bring himself to do or say anything. He was vaguely aware of Tina calling his name, but the only image in front of his eyes was Connor on the floor, tears rolling down his cheek, thirium dripping onto the tiles as Gavin Reed grinned while he raped his Connor.

He tried to tell himself that the last three words were not the truth, that Connor was not a person, not his, and rape was a word for humans, but his lazy excuses no longer bore any fruit in terms of comforting his aching spirit.

Besides, he liked the pain. It reminded him what a worthless piece of shit he truly was.

***

Hank sat at his kitchen table with his revolver. His hands trembled as he loaded the bullets into their respective chambers and he dropped one on the table, cursing. He wasn't drunk enough for this, but there wasn't enough time to allow alcohol to seep into his bloodstream. Time might change his mind, and he didn't want to turn back and face the choices he'd made. He'd waited too long already, pacing his kitchen to pluck up the courage. He mulled over the things he'd done to Connor a thousand times, each crime pushing him back towards the gun and the table. Putting a bullet in his brain was justice and every cell in his body urged him to do it, to end his miserable existence before he could hurt Connor any more.

He lifted the gun, stroked the barrel along his jawline, stuffed it in his mouth. He pulled it out, gasping for breath, raw and terrified as tears streaked unbidden down his own cheeks. He couldn't do it. He was going to chicken out again. He concentrated on the bathroom, on Gavin Reed's ugly features as he'd plowed into Connor with no remorse, and told himself he'd enabled that. He'd fed the monster that was Gavin Reed, trained the man on his own prick to be the monster he was today. Gave him permission to set his sights on the hapless, gullible android from CyberLife who just wanted to be a good person and see everyone co-operate on the investigation.

He jammed the barrel into his temple, his hand shaking so much he could barely hold onto the grip. He let it sit there, knowing his hands would still eventually, and once they did, closing his finger around the trigger and applying a little pressure would end it all forever.

But Connor—what would happen to Connor? Would he go back to CyberLife to be deactivated? Would he be reassigned as Gavin Reed's partner? The implications flooded Hank's mind and lowered the gun to the table, knowing he couldn't leave the android at the mercy of the vultures circling above him. He might be the devil himself, but at least he was a devil Connor knew, a devil that wanted to keep him alive and headed towards deviancy.

His cellphone rang. He buried his head in his hands, letting out a long sigh. He'd prepared this to be his last moment like he did every single time. Sumo's bowl was overfilled. A scribbled note sat in front of him on the table, bequeathing his possessions to a brother he hadn't seen in ten years and his dog to Jeffrey Fowler. He picked up the note and tore it to shreds, scattering the scraps and watching them rain down onto the floor like confetti.

The ringing stopped, then started again. Hank didn't have to look at the caller I.D. to know it was Connor. He was the only fool who would bother to persist in the face of Hank's indifference towards the investigation.

Hank picked up. "Yeah."

"Lieutenant, there has been an incident at the Channel Sixteen news station. Several androids have attacked the broadcast center and hijacked the signal to make several demands for freedom. I'm sorry to bother you, but I need your assistance."

_I'm sorry to bother you._ His niceties always hurt instead of helped. Did he know that? Was he passively-aggressively putting up resistance by turning the knife, or was it Hank's guilty conscience making every sweet word turn sour?

"I'll be right there." Hank ended the call abruptly. He stood up from the table and grabbed his coat, leaving the loaded revolver on the table.

He could always finish the job later.

***

Hank grabbed Connor by the arm and pulled him back behind cover, shooting in the general direction of the deviant as he dragged Connor to safety. He couldn't explain the protective urge to protect Connor that rose up inside him, but after this morning, maybe he didn't have to. He'd already seen Connor face down death once today. He didn't need to see it again.

"You have to stop them!" Connor yelled. "If they destroy it, we won't learn anything!"

"We can't save it, it's too late! We'll just get ourselves killed!" Hank snapped. He reached for Connor as he dived out, throwing himself in the line of fire to charge the deviant. Connor slipped away, determined to complete his mission by any means necessary. Hank heard a gunshot and got to his feet, peering out of his hiding place to note with relief that Connor was still standing.

Hank rushed over to Connor's side and eyed the deviant at his feet, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. He tried not to think about the gun he'd turned on himself just hours ago. Connor had seemed to pause, frozen with a look of shock so convincing that for the second time that day, Hank was entirely convinced that Connor felt human emotion after all. 

"Connor! Connor, you all right? Connor!" Hank grabbed Connor by the arm, unnerved. Had Gavin compromised him like this?

"Okay," Connor said.

"Are you hurt?"

"I'm ok…"

Anger and relief mingled inside him at the whole damn situation, from Gavin Reed's brutal actions in the bathroom to Connor's blatant disregard for his own life as far as the mission was concerned. "Jesus! You scared the shit outta me… For fuck's sake, I told you not to move! Why do you never do what I say?" 

Except sometimes he did follow orders, when those orders were to lower his pants and bend over. When those orders were to take every cock in the DPD until semen dripped from every hole. Just not orders related to the mission. Those he seemed to ignore readily.

Connor looked so confused and lost that Hank yearned to right his ship, then scoffed as he realized he was the last man on Earth who could set anyone straight, least of all Connor. 

"I was connected to its memory… when it fired… I felt it die… Like I was dying… I was scared…"

Connor was scared. Scared. 

_Scared._

Hank remembered standing in the Ravendale district, getting wet in the pouring rain while Connor speculated where the deviant AX400 might be hiding.

Hank had scoffed. _"Androids don't feel fear."_

_"Deviants do,"_ Connor had explained.

Without a doubt, Connor was deviant. Connor was alive. As he revealed what he'd learned from the dead android lying at his feet, Hank realized Connor still had no idea of that fact. He was hurtling into the abyss, driven forward by feelings he couldn't understand towards an inevitable outcome.

Was this all Hank's fault? Had he fucked CyberLife's most advanced prototype into feeling things no android ever should? Had the fear, horror, and blatant disregard of his ability to consent driven him to a point where he was acting outside of his programming?

There was only one person who could answer that question, and he was standing right in front of Hank. Connor was to be his judge, jury, and executioner. It wouldn't be much longer now before Connor realized what a monster Hank was and sought vengeance, no longer bound to service him and obey his orders, nor restrained by the directive to never harm a human. Hank would stay alive to see that moment. 

It seemed right that he should kneel at Connor's feet and beg for his life like Connor had wept for his in that bathroom stall while Hank stood idle with Connor's heart in his hand. He looked forward to it with a certain sense of grim satisfaction.

Maybe there was some justice in this harsh, brutal world after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Next up will be Kamski's place! I'd hoped to go there in this chapter, but I think I covered enough ground in this one.
> 
> Please let me know what you think in the comments!


End file.
